Reconciling can be so simple
Scientists and couple therapists working on this topic are convinced that most disagreements in marriages and partnerships could be resolved without much difficulty. Above all, problems arise when criticism is voiced or expectations are raised. With the following tips, conflicts can be resolved quickly, and nothing will stand in the way of reconciliation.
See the positive
What qualities do you like in your partner? Focus on these and remember that you're with your partner because of these qualities. Banish negative things into the background, but don't ignore them. Regard their existence as a fact. Nobody is perfect. Everybody has some flaws and commits mistakes on a daily basis. Think about how you would feel if somebody would repeatedly rub your flaws into your face and expects you to change.
It's up to you. Do you want to understand your partner or accuse him or her? Try to understand that their positive qualities go hand in hand with a primary motivation. These make him or her essentially loveable to you. Negative incidents are often linked to specific situations and are not forced or provoked.
Show your feelings
If you prefer to keep your feelings to yourself and don't want to share them to protect yourself, your partner and you will suffer. Communicating your feelings is the simplest and safest exit from a tense situation. Will you risk a fight in doing so? Don't hesitate anyway. Arguments, as is known, are like thunderstorms: They clear the air.
React with caution
Some emotions are not easy to deal with: anger, resentment, jealousy, and despair. If something is said or done that triggers such a sentiment, many react promptly and thoughtlessly. Yet, it's better to take a step back, take note of your feelings, acknowledge them, and calm down again. Only speak when you have recollected yourself internally, sorted your thoughts, and thought about what you want to say.
Don't put it off until later
Communication works best in the immediate period following a problem. Don't put it off for later, as this will manifest the negative feelings inside your head. Addressing the issue immediately will also be better for your partner. When you confront them later, they might not even be able to comprehend the issue. Perhaps, they've already forgotten the incident that triggered their negative behavior.
Take the first step
Nobody enjoys doing it. It requires overcoming an internal resistance, especially if you're convinced you've been right all along. But, truthfully: Would you rather be right or happy? When taking the first step and offering to make up and reconcile, you'll demonstrate your desire to solve the problem and continue the relationship in harmony. Moreover, it manifestly reveals your character and moral courage.
Be willing to compromise
A constant ingredient of a healthy partnership is compromise. If Otherwise, both characters would be completely identical. And that would be rather boring. Hardly anything harms a relationship as much as boredom... apart from ultimatums. These are also rather lethal, too. When compromising, you don't show weakness, but strength and wisdom.
Expand your perception
With a better perception, you can inspect your feelings and reactions from a different viewpoint. Not only can you recognize your patterns of behavior when specific triggers occur, but you'll also see the alternative possibilities to react. Furthermore, you'll increase your perception regarding your fellow human beings, their needs, and motivation. With a better perception, all of the points listed above are much easier to check off.
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